Ask Deadpool: Season Three!
by rosestar1324
Summary: Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you! I'm back for a third season! You can't take me down THAT easily!
1. Chapter 1

**Deadpool: Could it be?! Are we really back for another season?**

Rose: Yep. I missed this series. Plus, it's been a long time since we had an episode.

**Deadpool: So, now that you guys have knocked some sense into Rose, we can finally continue! Don't worry, guys. Rose isn't stopping unless I say so.**Rose: You can't make me to work against my will.

**Deadpool: Yes, I can. As long as I have this! *pulls out contract***

Rose: Is that-

**Deadpool: Yes! It's your contract! That you signed! So, go ahead and send in your questions! Rose isn't going anywhere! **

Rose: *sighs* Let's just hope we won't get in trouble with The Man like those other guys...


	2. Chapter 2

Deadpool: Weeeeeeeellcome back to Ask Deadpool: Season Tres! Staring your favorite Merc with a Mouth, me! And the lovely, Ms. Rose.

Rose: Why 'Ms. Rose'?

Deadpool: I dunno. You need something interesting to add to your name.

Rose: And that's the best you came up with?

Deadpool: With a teen rating, yes.

Rose: *smacks DP*

Deadpool: Ow! Just ask the first question, already!

Rose: Okay, we have a lot of questions! First one's from Luscil L. L  
"YES! Yes! yes,yes, f*ck yeah! I really enjoyed the last season I really want to read the next one now. Please update soon! Oh and question:  
so did you plan for this to happen or you got some ideas for season 3?"

Deadpool: Thanks for your question. And for being the first to write us here's a complementary chimichanga! And for your answer, I usually do things spontaneously. I don't really plan these things out. But now that you mention it, I should probably work on figuring out who this season's guest stars are going to be. I guess you guys can make recommendations on who you wanna see.

Rose: Can we try and not kidnap people this season?

Deadpool: No promises!

Rose: Great... Alright, next question is from TheHawkOfDreams  
I'm curious, how much porn does Deadpool watch exactly? Oh, also could you tell me what Deadpool thinks of my Fanfiction Red and Black?

Deadpool: W-why does everyone think I watch porn?

Rose: Well...

Deadpool: Don't answer that! I read picture books!

Rose: Well, he's not lying...

Deadpool: Shut it, Rose!

Rose: What about the fanfic?

Deadpool: Oh yeah. It was good but I have one question. Why did I come in in chapter three!? I mean, yeah, I kinda was in chapter two but the readers didn't get to read from my POV until chapter three!

Rose: Whoa. Self centered much?

Deadpool: I'm not self centered! It's just that it IS a Deadpool fanfic after all.

Rose: Like I said, self centered.

Deadpool: Just read the next question!

Rose: Devilgirl123, though not a question, says, "Hey deadpool! Your so cute"

Deadpool: Hehe, well thank you. Ya know it takes time to look this good!

Rose:*rolls eyes* adeadfreelancer  
writes, "this is the greatest thing since strap on swords!

great to have you back Rose...such a shame my run got cancelled...miss you Deadpool we had like no fun at all...

anyway onto random questions

q1, if you were stuck in the cross fire between Spawn and Grifter(new52) who would you try to take down?  
Q2 tommorow Red Vs Blue season 13 comes out, you exited?  
Q3 am i weird if i where my comic con costume for days on end even though the con is months away?  
q4 why did the chicken nugget cross the road?  
q5 have you seen the Halo 5 trailers?  
Q6 did you see the"

Deadpool: Hey, Dude. Sucks we had a run in with **The Man**. We didn't get to have our full season!  
A1: Grifter. Spawn can only be killed by holy weapons and I admit, unless fully prepared, I'll get my ass kicked... Probably  
A2: Hell yeah!  
A3: Of course not! Rose also went through a phase of wearing her Back Widow costume. *whispers* and she wasn't even planning on going to comic con.

Rose: Hey! That's not true!

Deadpool: Riiiiiiight.  
A4: To jump into the barbeque sauce.  
A5: YES! Master Chief looks badass!

Rose: He has girly hips.

Deadpool: Rose, what. The. Hell. Did. You. Just. Say.

Rose: Master Chief has-

Deadpool: No he doesn't! He's awesome and you will never understand because you've never played the games!

Rose: But his waist to hip ratio looks like a curvy woman's...

Deadpool: You don't know what you're talking about!

Rose: But-

Deadpool: Don't make me use my dragon shout!

Rose: You still have that?

Deadpool: Moving on.  
A6: Um, it looks like that last question is cut off. Rose!

Rose: That's all that's there!

Deadpool: Okay, then I will finish the question and hope that's what you meant.  
Q6: Did you see the dancing chicken?  
A6: Which dancing chicken? I saw all of them!

Rose: elliza asks, "  
Have you ever considered a sidekick?"

Deadpool: Nope. I prefer to work alone. Kids are annoying... Mostly.

Rose: Spidermanfan20  
Says "Thank you for taking my advice!  
Dearest Deady,  
Have you ever smack-camed Wolverine?"

Deadpool: Not yet but thanks for the idea. I think I'll have him guest star and do that to him on the show!

Rose: next question bus from CrazyChick14141  
"Yo Deadpool! Wanna come with me and unalive (Ultimate Spiderman inside joke.) J"

Deadpool: Sure. Who? When and where?

Rose: I'm a duck asks,  
"HELLO DEADPOOLY! Firstly. I f*cking love you. Anyways. I have a game. You must either kiss, kill, or marry one of these girls. You may only choose each answer once.

So. Would you kiss, kill, or marry...?  
1: Rogue  
2: Jean Grey  
3: Death."

Deadpool: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! WHY U DO DIS TO MEEEEEEEEEEE!? AGH! Okay, well, I already kissed Rogue in my game, Jean dies every other Thursday, but I haven't married Death, yet. So, kiss: Rogue, kill: Jean, marry: Thor- I mean- Death. Hehe.

Rose: Last question, from an anonymous user. " will there be a hidan no aria crossover with you in it DP? and devil may cry with blazble after ?"

Deadpool: Sure. I don't see why not. One of the other guys who tried to start a season three had guests from a different universe guest star, which I though was awesome. But we'll probably do a DMC (ORIGINAL) crossover first cause Rose is a frickin' maniac about Dante.

Rose: Hehehehehe. He's so dreamy! And cool! And awesome!

Deadpool: Oh great. Look what you've done! She's going to be like that all night! Oh well... Um, one question, are you taking about the whole series or just one character from each of those series? And sense Rose is out of it, I'll do the outro. Thanks for all the questions! And sorry Rose took forever to write this. I'll have her post this soon, hopefully.. And, no, I can't post it. That's HER job!


	3. Chapter 3

Deadpoool: Welcome back to ASK DEADPOOL: SEASON THREE! Let's not waste anymore time! Rose, questions!

Rose: Whoa. You seem to be in a hurry. What's the rush?

Deadpool: Well, I have to go pick up our guest star for the next episode but if we don't hurry, we'll miss 'em!

Rose: Who? And why do I always have to come?

Deadpool: That's a secret. And cause you're my assistant!

Rose: Wow, I've finally been promoted to 'assistant'!? *gasp*

Deadpool: Huh, I guess so. But don't let it go to your head.

Rose: Whatever... Our first question is from adeadfreelancer, "Good day to you deadpool, and the lovely miz rose. How you guys doing?

Have you read secret wars yet rose? I have never been more confused. Is this gonna end up having Deadpool save the multiverse and reboot it into the new 99999948?

Alright I guess some random questions

q1 did you know black canary is pregnant?  
Q2 when was the last time you were arrested?  
Q3 how was being an avenger for a day?  
Q4 thanos called, your not gonna be in the next avengers movie.  
q5 somehow they made Antman a badass. How?  
Q6 in a death battle between you and deathstroke, how many times would he kill you before he gets tired and leaves?

Adeadfreelancer out...follow me on tumblr (please)"

Deadpool: Sup. We're doing great! I think I'll start calling you 'Miz Rose', now. It sounds slightly more cooler than, 'Miss Rose'. Must be the z.

Rose: Hey! And no, I haven't fully read the secret wars comics. All I've seen are pictures on Google... If you know a website where I could read it for free, don't hesitate. Not like Deadpool pays me for this. But I think I heard that that's what they're going to do. It ties into the 'Deadpool dying thing' I think.

Deadpool: I didn't think you wanted to be paid. Anyway..

A1: Whaaaa?! They actually have a baby?! How does she not get hit in the stomach? She's a freakin' superhero? How does she make it though nine months on crime fighting without getting hit there? How does she even fight after she hits her third trimester? This raises more questions than it answers.

A2: last night.

Rose: Care to say why?

Deadpool: Nope.

Rose: Public indecency.

Deadpool: ROSE!

Rose: They deserve to know!

Deadpool: Another word out of you and you'll be de-promoted!

Rose:...

Deadpool: a3: Great!

a4: YES I WILL! They're just keeping it a secret... ;-;

a5: Movie magic, buddy. Movie magic.

a6: That probably depends on how much the guy who hires him paid him. According to ScrewAttack, I'd win in that Death Battle.

Rose: I'm still waiting for them to do Dante vs. Deadpool...

Deadpool: Just keep believing. And sure, I'll follow you.

Rose: Yeah, I'll follow you, too. I just gotta make a tumblr, first.

Deadpool: How do you NOT have a tumblr account?

Rose:We'll I made one a looong time ago but I forgot the password.

Deadpool: Same thing happened to your many instagram accounts but you didn't hesitate to make more of THOSE!

Rose: ...

Deadpool: I'll make Rose a tumblr account and have her follow you.

Rose: Last question is from Devilgirl123, "Hey deadpool! Are you going to have loki ? He's so cute!" Omg, yes! We're SO having Loki on the next episode!

Deadpool: B-but...

Rose: No buts! We have to have Loki on this show again!

*****Special thanks to Devigirl123 and adeadfreelancer for being my most consistent reviewers! It's really appreciated! And btw, would you guys (everyone reading this) mind if between every Q/A I post a mini story about how we capture the guest star for that episode? I was thinking the interaction between Deadpool and them would be hilarious! Especially with Wolverine's encounter!****


	4. Operation: LOKI

Deadpool runs into the kitchen with a blueprint in hand. "Rose, get ready! We're about to capture, I mean, recruit our first guest star for the next episode!" Rose put down the sandwich she was eating and gave him an annoyed look.

She sighed, "What is the plan THIS time?" Deadpool laid the blueprint on the table.

"Ok, first, we'll have you dress up as me and distract him. Then, I sneak up in a tutu and whomp him over the head! It's brilliant!"

"Wait. Who are we capturing?"

"Spider-Man, duh! Didn't you get my memo?"

"I stopped reading those a loooong time ago. All you ever talked about were things I prefer not to think about..." She said, looking at the ground, terrified.

"Well, that's your fault. Now, suit up or we'll miss him!"

"Deadpool, we're not capturing Spider-Man. I told you. Loki is our next guest star," she explained.

"But I want Spidey," Deadpool whined.

"He can be on the next episode." Deadpool threw himself in the chair.

"Well, I didn't make a plan for capturing Loki."

"Don't worry, I did. He just got defeated by The Avengers. So, we're going to snatch him up before Thor takes him back to Asgard."

"Fine. How are we going to do that?"

**Somewhere in New York...**

"Loki will be imprisoned for what he has done. " The God of Thunder had just finished telling his comrades. Appearing from out of nowhere, Deadpool grabbed Loki.

"Poof!" He shouted, teleporting away with Loki to the backseat of a car a few blocks from where he was captured. "Drive, Rose!" Rose revved the engine and floored the gas.

**In Deadpool's H.Q. (called that because Deadpool thinks it sounds cooler than apartment)...**

"I am truly grateful for your assistance," Loki said, half-heartedly. "Now, if you will excuse me.." Deadpool pushed Loki on a couch.

"You ain't going anywhere. We got a show to do. Hit it, Rose!"

"In five, four, three, two..!" Rose pressed a button on a mounted camcorder. A red light turned on.

Deadpool: Welcome back to ASK ME: SEASON THREE! Today's guest star is, The God of Mischief, Loki!

Loki: W-What is this?! Wait. Is this that thing you call a "TV show"?!

Deadpool: One, this IS a TV show-

Rose: Technically...

Deadpool: *turns to Rose* Not now, Rose! *turns back to Loki* Just smile and try to look pretty.

Loki: *gasp* I'll have you know, many women have found me handsome, which I am. *tosses hair*

Rose: He DOES have nice hair.

Deadpool: Just read the questions!

Rose: Okaaay! First question is from Spidermanfan20,

Hey Deadpool!

I am back with a set of questions!

1: Can you do the Macarena?  
2: Can I be a guest star in Pain Factor?  
3: Can you beat my unstoppable army of donkey men?  
4: Did you know that the government approved and is funding the idea of world destruction?  
5: Can you PLEASE bring Magneto as a guest star? (If so, say this; "MAGNETO! WELCOME TO DIE!")

Deadpool: A1 Yes. I can. Loki, you know the drill.

Loki: I don't have to do anything. *crosses arms*

Rose: C'mon, please Loki? *smiles* We did free you from the Avengers.

Loki: *sigh* What is the "Macarena"?

Deadpool: This! *does Macarena*

Loki: What are you doing?!

Deadpool: A dance, duh!

Loki: You mortals call THAT dancing?

Rose: It does look weird without the music, doesn't it? Here. *plays Macarena song*

Deadpool: Oh yeah! *continues doing the Macarena*

Rose: *starts doing the Macarena*

Loki: Mortals are weird.

Rose: C'mon, Loki, dance with your bad self!

Loki: *starts doing the Macarena* This feels unnatural!

Deadpool: Hey, we should record this and put it on YouTube! You know how many views it'll get?

Loki: Alright. I am finished.

Deadpool: Party pooper. A2 Sure! But it will be painful!

A3 Ha! Not only can I beat them, I'll dress them in tutus and make them dance to the Sugar Plum Fairy!

Rose: What's with you and tutus?

Loki: Perhaps he has a secret desire to become a ballerina.

Deadpool: *laughs sarcastically* Whatever. A4 Really? Hmm. I think I've heard that somewhere. But ya know, villains are all cliché these days.

Loki: Ahem.

Deadpool: 5A Sure! I can't remember the last time I've said THAT. But I don't know when, though. Apparently, Rose is in charge of the guest stars. Probably sometime after Spider-Man.

Rose: Luscil L. L

Yay! Another chapter! Sorry I didn't message last chapter I got caught up with stuff. Anyway questions:  
For Loki and Deadpool do you or do you not have a significant other that you would like to spend your time with?  
Rose can you make chimichangas?  
And if crimes were legal for 1 hour what would you do?  
Also cake or cupcake? And if you have watched supernatural (I love them) which one would you go for? (Sam, Dean, Cas, ? ) mine is Gabriel!

Don't stress about it. And I love your name, btw.

Deadpool: Loki, you wanna answer first?

Loki: Why me?

Deadpool: Cause she said your name first.

Loki: Well, why even ask me?

Deadpool: It wasn't really a question. I was actually telling you to answer first.

Loki: Alright. But it's simply, no.

Deadpool: Death.

Rose: A2 Yes, I can! And they're really good, too!

Deadpool: A3 Hmm, there's so much I would do! I guess whatever first comes to mind when the hour starts.

Loki: Take over the world!

Deadpool: Predictable!

Loki: What?

Deadpool: You always want to take over the world.

Loki: Well, that's what I want.

Deadpool: Dude, you gotta visualize. A4 Both!

Loki: Cake

Rose: Cakepop

Deadpool: That wasn't even an option!

Rose: Yeah, but my friend makes a mean cakepop. I can eat those all day. And technically, they start out as cake soooo...

Deadpool: A5 *googles names in google image* Holy crap! I thought Gabriel was Chris Hemsworth for a second! I guess him since he kinda looks like him.

Rose: Devilgirl124 says, That's an awesome idea!

For loki. I think your cuter and better looking than Thor. Do you have a girlfriend? If not can I be you girlfriend? Please?

Loki: Why thank you. You have excellent taste. No, I do not have a girlfriend and if you want to be my girlfriend I must first have to meet you.

Deadpool: Whoooooooooop! Whooooooooooop! Stranger danger! Whooooooop! Whoooooooop!

Rose: For who?

Deadpool: Who do you think?

Rose: adeadfreelancer writes, Wow you actually followed me! Aint that a shocker miz rose, and as for the mini story...hell yeah!

And yeah Black canary is pregnant and harly quinn found out and sort of helped her out.

anyway,  
q1 what deadpool youtubers do you watch?  
Q2 in a world ruled by a giant intelligent beaver, what food is unavailable?  
Q3: why on earth do you treat your friends the way you do!? You left weasel in the box for a year, twice!  
Q4 do you support spideypool?  
Q5 do you love the mountains?  
Q6 what's your favorite moment in life?

Live long and prosper.

Of course I would! If I say I'll do something, I'll do it. I went through a lot of trouble setting us that account but it was worth it. My friends always told me to make one, so it was the perfect motivation! I actually found that comic, btw. And plus, Harley's gift of a muzzle was priceless! XD Btw, I've never even had a Pumpkin Spice Latte

Deadpool: a1 Sadly, I haven't found any Deadpool youtubers. A real shame. I did find this tumblr user who posts Deadpool stuff. So far he and you are the only people I'm following on tumblr. Which I really need to post on more often.

a2 I hope you don't mean the Justin kind.

Rose: It says beaver... as in, the animal.

Deadpool: What's the difference!? *ba dum crash* Oh, then I say Mexican food of all type! Since he's so smart, he'll know that burritos are the way to go, leaving us with nothing.

a3 I was never taught how to treat people properly...

Rose: Oh my gosh! That's true! Aw.

Deadpool:a4 Yes and apparently so do the writers. *whispers* they even made fanfictions about us!

a5 I never listened to one song

Rose: Well, you have Google.

Deadpool: No time. a6 To be honest, reuniting with my daughter.

Rose: Aw

Loki: You have a daughter?!

Deadpool: Yeah, you got a problem with that?

Loki: Um, no. Not at all.

Rose: gunguy117 asks,

dp what would happen if you got incinerated

Deadpool: Well, first, I'd get turned into dust, then I'd regenerate.

Rose: Last question is from GreatfulExcape. You got a cool set up! So now I got a question: (#1) Why is Deadpool so demanding of you?  
(#2) Do you ever find Deadpool's junk around your house?(like that doll, that always is surprised to see him?)  
(#3) Do you, Rose, ever do things outside of "Ask Deadpool"? If so, what does she do and what do her friends(if any)&amp; family think about your " Ask Deadpool "?

a1 He's very dominative. *whispers* I think it has something to do with his upbringing.

a2 Well, technically, he paid for the house, but I keep it clean and stuff. Which isn't easy since he's a total slob. And please don't remind me of his 'doll'. (or that game) *shivers*

Deadpool: We're practically like a married couple!

Rose: I'm okay with that. And I'm not okay with that. a3 I write other stories, binge watch on YouTube and Netflix, RP, and send ugly Snapchats to my friends. And my family supports it. They even ask questions. I'm not sure what my friends think. They keep mixed things, like "Oh, you're writing about that Deadpool guy? Hey, when is he going to kill me?", "Aren't you dating Deadpool?", "Is he your bae, Rose?", "Do you write porn?",etc.

Deadpool: Wait, you write porn!?

Rose: NOOOOOO! That's disgusting!

Deadpool: Then why did they ask you that?

Rose: It's a long story. Simply put, it's an inside joke they started and apparently won't let die.

Deadpool: I believe you write porn.

Rose: Deadpool, if there's any trace of porn of my computer, it's because you were, one, foolish enough to use my computer, and two, stupid enough to not use an incognito tab. And if you have used my computer, I'll make sure you never live to see if Spideypool becomes canon!

Deadpool: Well, that's all of the questions for today. See ya next time!

******Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the intro. I can tweak the length if it bother anyone but if not, I'll try to keep it the same. Our next guest star will be Spider-Man. Just for a heads up, the guest star appearances will go in a villain then hero order unless stated otherwise. That way, I won't just go episode after episode having a different Avenger guest star (unless you'd prefer that). Plus, I'd like to incorporate a few characters from other franchises (like Dante *sigh*). Maybe even DC characters. I dunno. We'll see what happens later in the seires.*******

*******But remember, this is about US (name the YouTuber). Without you, this fanfiction wouldn't exist. *******

********Just to let ya'll know, I'll be out of state for the next few weeks, so even if I have chapter typed, I don't know if I'll be able to post it (since I still need a computer. My laptop is still broken.)********

**How may footnotes do I have? OVER 9000! It's just too dang high!**

**Ps. How's everyone's summer?**


	5. Operation: Amazing

In the heart of New York city, Spider-Man sat on a ledge of a tall skyscraper eating a delicious gyro. His day of masquerading as a super hero was almost over. The sun soon faded and the moon took it's place. There had been no major crimes at all. He stood up, ready to go home, when suddenly, a squad of police cars zoomed down the streets. "Aw, man. I thought I was actually going to make it home early today," Spidey retorted, pulling down his mask over his mouth. With a flick of the wrist, Spider-Man shot a web to a nearby building and swung after the cops, swooping down and throwing away his empty wrapper before shooting his next web. The police cars swerved between traffic before finally arriving at the city bank. Spider-Man landed next to a squad car and told them he'd handle the problem. The cops nodded their heads, giving him the okay to go inside. Spider-Man walked up the stairs and entered the door which had been blown off it's hinges. There was rubble all over the ground and no trace of any one. Spidey made his way towards the vault, where the obvious intruder must be. As he got closer, sounds of muffled screams where heard. He slowly peaked into the room, "Deadpool?!" He exclaimed, eyes widening. Deadpool immediately turned around.

"Spidey!" He shouted. Spider-Man quickly checked the room for the hostage and found the teller sitting on the floor with her hands tied and her mouth gagged.

"Deadpool, what the heck are you doing? Why are you robbing a bank?"

"Yeah, well, about that. See, no one's been hiring me lately and I'm a little short on cash. You can piece the rest together."

"Ya know, I've heard of this new thing, all the cool kids are doing it, it's called "getting a job"! It's legal AND you get paid money! A win/win! You should try it sometime." Deadpool was taken back by this statement.

"Are you trying to say assassins don't have real jobs?"

"All I'm saying is you really need a new hobby. Something that won't get you thrown in jail." Deadpool placed his hands on his hips.

"For your information, buddy, I do have a LEGAL hobby! I have my own talk show!"

"You're not talking about that web show with only, like, five views, right?"

"I have WAY more than five views! Oh! And I need a new guest star for the next episode. How bout you star again?"

"Uh, no. You're going to jail." The teller managed to remove her gag.

"Excuse me. Can you pleeease untie me, now? I'd like to go home." Spider-Man unbounded her restraints and webbed Deadpool to the wall.

"Weird. He didn't even bother fighting. Why?" His train of thought was interrupted by his Spidey Sense going off. He started to turn but was jabbed with a syringe. He immediately started feeling dizzy. He stared at the face of the "hostage" he'd just saved. "You?" was all he could udder before passing out.

When he awoke, he found himself laying on the sofa in Deadpool's living room. He held his head, still groggy from the tranquilizer. "Oh, you're awake! Right on time!" said Rose, upon walking into the room. "Do you want something to eat, drink?"

"Rose, what's going on? Where's Deadpool? Where are we?"

"Calm down. Confusion WAS listed as one of the side effect. But to answer your questions, you're going to be the next guest star on _Ask Deadpool: Season Three_, you're in his not-so-secret HQ, and Deadpool's currently in the bathroom. Trust me, you do NOT wanna go in there." Spider-Man's head finally became clear.

"Wait, you mean this show got to air another season?" He asked, now sitting up.

"Yeah but it's best not to ask too many questions about it. The stress may cause your head to explode." Deadpool came out of the bathroom.

"Awesome! You're up! Let's start the show!" Deadpool leaped on the couch. "Ready?"

"For what?" Rose walked over to the camera.

"In five, four, three, two..."

Deadpool: Welcome back, Pooligans to another episode of ASK DEADPOOL SEASON THREEEEEEEE, BABY!"

Rose: Wouldn't this technically be season five since two other people had their run with 'season three'?

Deadpool: Think of those like the season three direct to DVD episodes.

Rose: We don't have DVDs.

Deadpool: I said 'like'! That doesn't mean they're the same!

Rose: Alright. Alright.

Spidey: What the heck is going on?

Deadpool: Are you sure that tranquilizer wore off?

Rose: I think so but he's still probably experiencing some of the symptoms. What was in that thing anyway?

Deadpool: I dunno. I quickly bought something online.

Rose: We'll, you might wanna stay off the streets of a while. You may have a slowed reaction time, making it easier for people...to...

Deadpool: Kill you. That's what she was going to say.

Rose: Sorry for tranquilizing you, by the way.

Spidey: No hard feelings.

Deadpool: Alright! Now, let's get to the questions!

Rose: Luscil L. L says, _Hello! And thanks the name came from my lil' sis when we were acting like we were high and drunk and thinking of ways of how to kill others and how to take over the world with out much destruction and a lot of destruction, etc. And other stuff. We were bored out of our minds. It was a boring Tuesday morning. And we made a game like "how would you hide the dead body" or "if you had the power to..." and such. It was fun at least. Anyway! I'd like to ask you, rose! may I have a chimichanga? Also I'd like to give you strawberry short cake but I have to hide it before my family and friends even get a smell of it or the come running. The birthday cake was devoured in minutes... Poor pastry did stand a chance. And Deadpool, what would you do if someone kidnapped rose? Not saying that she is or anything just a what if. Oh! And what would be the one thing you would do for your daughter if could no longer see her again. I cry just thinking about it. If Spidey's there, if you had one free rule wish what would it be? And thanks rose!_

Yes, you can have as many chimichangas as you'd like. And I would love to have some of your strawberry short cake! (If your family hasn't eaten it yet.) And no probs.

Deadpool: If Rose gets kidnapped, her kidnapper is dead. And if I couldn't see my daughter... I would send someone I trust to constantly check up on her.

Spidey: Wait. You have a daughter!?

Deadpool: Yes.

Spidey: I can't believe it.

Deadpool: Well, I have one. Her name's Ellie Camacho. *pulls out picture* This is what she looks like.

Spidey: Whoa. She's beautiful. I never would have thought-

Deadpool: Yeah, me too. Now, answer your question.

Spidey: I dunno. I guess I would wish that there were no villains. I mean, the would be a lot better place without them.

Deadpool: BOOOOORRRRRING! Rose, read the next question.

Rose: Spidermanfan20 asks, _Hey, Deadpool! I've got a few questions and a dare!_

_1\. How's Wanda Wilson? She having fun in the afterlife? (Cue the chase scene)  
__2\. Can you be Headpool for Halloween?  
__3\. Give Spider-Man a wedgie if he is in the next episode and tell him that his Uncle Ben said so.  
4\. FRENCH KISS ROSE! FRENCH KISS ROSE!  
Dare: Start an identity crisis_

Spidey: What?! Why would someone want to give their Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man a wedgie? How can you call yourself a Spider-Man fan. I, for one, am extremely offended.

Rose: And I'm telling you right now, Deadpool: there will be no French kissing!

Deadpool: Guys, you're being too sensitive. A quick kiss won't hurt anyone.

Rose: No. French. Kissing.

Deadpool: Let's just get to the questions, shall we?

1\. Too soon, man. Too soon. And why chase you when I can just wait until you're asleep and I can teleport into your room and kill you. Bet you didn't think that all the way through, now, did cha?

2\. As a giant Headpool or chop off my own head Headpool?

3\. Soon, my friend. Soon.

Spidey: You must have a degree in stupid if you think I'll let you give me a wedgie. I'm not some little kid who gets bullied.

Deadpool: Once a nerd, always a nerd.

Spidey: What's THAT supposed to mean?

Deadpool: Uh, distraction! *tackles Rose*

Rose: AHHH! *kicks DP in the groin*

Deadpool: OWWW! *falls over*

Spidey: That's going to hurt in the morning.

**Ten minutes later...**

Deadpool: Damn, Rose...

Rose: Well, you did try to French Kiss me...

Deadpool: And about that dare, do you mean I should have a identity crisis or I should make other people have an identity crisis? Cause, I'm leaning towards the latter.

Rose: adeadfreelancer writes, _So deadpool, you're a ghost now. Wow. And yet you're still scared of getting shot. (Im referring to ms deadpool and the howling commandos)_

_ so guys, im heading to my local comic con dressed as either Deadpool, Ken Kaneki, or the Redhood, which one should I go as?(the conmis Saturday so can you send me the mail on tumblr?)_

_ And I've got something you might like stranger, *gives you a trans dimensional teleporter* _

_ alright then onto my insane theories I mean questions. _

_ Q1 so spidey, did you know that people write really REALLY gay fan fiction about you and Deadpool?_  
_ Q2 man, this is the second time you've been killed off permanently in the past month deadpool!_  
_ Q3 you guys have got to watch dragon ball z abridged_  
_ Q4 three seasons, a triangle has three sides, illuminati confirmed_  
_ Q5 the raptors in Jurrasic World are named after Red Vs Blue_  
_ Q6 the cake is a lie_  
_ Q7 do you love the clear blue sky?_  
_ Q8 there's almost as much gay red vs blue porn than there is spideypool porn_  
_ Q9 do you ever wonder why were here?_  
_ Q10 five nights at freddys 4...why wont he letmit die?_

_ See ya, miz rose, Ghostpool, and little shit._

Deadpool: Well, some habits never die.

Rose: Thanks for the teleporter. Now, we have people from other universes on the show. Like, Dante! *fangirls*

Spidey: A1 WHAAAAAAAAAT?

Deadpool: Yeah, I've told you before.

A2 Don't worry. As the great Schwarzenegger said, "I'll be back."

Deadpool: A3 Hey, Rose, I know what we're going to do tomorrow!

A4 Gasp!

A5 Huh? Learn something new every day

A6 NOOOOOOOOOOO!

A7 Why, yes I do.

A8 Did you know that the Marvel writers also write Spideypool fanfiction?

A9 All. The. Time.

A10 Scot's just milking the sh*t out of the franchise.

Spidey: Hey!

Rose: Emmy says, _Hi remember me? I LOVE YOU! DEADIE! -runs around throwing carrots everywhere and laughing like a witch-_

Deadpool: *falls out of seat* AGH!

Spidey: Who is this?

Deadpool: Um, I suddenly feel extremely uncomfortable and am getting Whitby flashbacks. MOVING ON!

Rose: Last question is from minicoopa2, _hey there Wilson, is it ok if I hang out in the studio (thingy) I have no sense of smell and can give the unique view provided by autism! _

Deadpool: Normally I would but there's going to be some pretty intense things going on that I don't think you'd want to witness. What kind of things, you ask? Adult things.

Rose: AKA "Saturday night stuff".

Deadpool: Sush! Anyway, thanks for reading! See you in the next episode!

**Next time on _Ask Deadpool: Season Three_...**

**A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...**

**"Deadpool, how the heck are we going to capture one of the most powerful Sith Lords of all time?"**


	6. Operation: Empire Strikes Back

****This episode would take place between Star Wars Episode 5 and 6**

"Are you ready, Rose?"

"Are YOU ready? You're the one who's about to go toe to toe with Darth Vader. Are you sure he won't just kill us after returning here?"

"If he kills us, he ain't getting back to his universe and they'll have to cancel Return of the Jedi." Deadpool entered a command into the new teleporter they got and in a bright blue flash they disappeared from Deadpool's apartment and reappeared on the Executor. Deadpool quickly shoved Rose into an empty room.

"What are you-?"

"Shhh! They're coming!" Deadpool hid himself in the room. Two Storm Troopers walked down the hallway. When they passed, Deadpool pulled them into the room and knocked them out. "Hurry up and put this on," He said, handing Rose the costume.

"Don't you dare look."

"Alright!" He tired anyway and got a fist in the face. "Ow!" They changed and quickly exited the room. "Okay. Right now, he should be in the command room. Don't freeze and we'll be fine."

"I already kidnapped a ton of people, something I'm not proud to admit. I think I can handle it," Rose said before realizing who they were about to kidnap. "I hope…"

"That's good. Now, wait for the signal, here." Rose nodded her head as Deadpool walked into the command room. "Vader!" The Sith Lord turned around.

"What is it?" Darth Vader said. "Don't you see I'm busy?"

"Yeah, well, you see, we have some intruders."

"Did I miss a perimeter breach alert? What are you standing around here for? Go get them!" Deadpool pulled off his helmet and started shooting at Vader, who easily deflected the bullets. "You dare attack a sith lord?" Vader lifted Deadpool into the air.

"Rose…. Now!" Rose pressed a button on their teleporting device and teleported the three of them back to Deadpool's house. Darth Vader examined his new surroundings.

"Where am I?"

"In my house. Earth."

"Earth? Where's earth?"

"Let's just say, you're galaxies away from home and the only way we'll bring you back is if you answer some questions for our show. Vader started to choke Deadpool.

"Return me to my galaxy or I will kill you."

"Oooor," Rose spoke up, "You can do our show and….." She whispered something in Vader's ear. Darth Vader released Deadpool.

"Fine." Deadpool rubbed his throat.

"What did you say, Rose?"

"Don't worry about it." She got the camera in place. "We're on in five, four, three, two…."

**Deadpool: Welcome back to the next long awaited episode of **_**Ask Deadpool: Season Three**_**! Sitting next to me is the most powerful Sith Lord of the galaxy, Darth Vader! Rose, let's not waste anymore time!**

**Rose: Our first question is from Devilgirl123. She asks, "Hi Sith Lord! *bows* tell me, were you happy to see your twin children after all these years? Are you proud of them?"**

**Darth Vader: It's nice to see someone here knows who they need to respect. And I am proud of his development in the Force, but his mind is still weak. And I have no twins.**

**Deadpool: Harsh.. And yeah… he doesn't know about Leia yet.**

**Darth Vader: Who's Leia?**

**Rose: The next one is from Luscil L. L. "Yay! Chimichangas! And about the strawberry cake...Hehe... It's gone again... My sis only got one slice last time before everyone else and she said she wanted the next one all to herself and then the next thing I know my family eats it but my sis ate at least half... Again I just got a slice...-_- but at least I'm happy with good old hot chocolate! I can drink hot chocolate at anytime I want, I don't care if it is summer! Now questions! Everyone must answer! Well with what you want. What's your favorite passing time? What would you do with a drunken sailor? If you had to choose to be another species, human, demon, unicorn, etc. What would you be? I wouldn't want to be a shapeshift cause the way they shift to someone else is nasty! Anyway if you can change anything in your past what would it be? Also sorry Rose I couldn't save you a slice I instead made pie as a substitute. It's strawberry! And if only one last thing to do what would it be? (Last thing before dieing thing) Last one: tacos or chimichangas? That's all I've got so till next time! Bye~"**

**Strawberry pie is fine. I've never had that before. And my favorite pastime is playing video games.**

**Deadpool: Watching Bea Arthur.**

**Darth Vader: I have no need for a pastime for I am solely devoted to the Galactic Empire.**

**Deadpool: 2. Throw him off the ship and take his boat.**

**Rose: Call the police.**

**Darth Vader: Kill him.**

**Deadpool: 3. Unicorn. Those things are deadly!**

**Rose: Dang it! I was going to say that.. Okay, to be original, I'll say fairy.**

**Darth Vader: *crosses arms* When I was foolish and young, I had a wish to be a creature with wings so I could fly away from my captors.**

**Deadpool: 4. Maybe not killing so many people or not eating that bean burrito I had last night. *holds bubbling stomach***

**Rose: Ew. I would have typed out all the chapters to my stories so there wouldn't be months in between updates.**

**Darth Vader:*bitter* I would wish to save my wife and mother.**

**Rose: Aww…**

**Deadpool: This show just got sad real quick.**

**Darth Vader: I don't need your pity!**

**Deadpool: 5. Do you know who I am?**

**Rose: Our last set of questions is from RevieweR **

"**Hello guys. I have a few questions for each of you that need to be answered.**

**For Rose:**

**1.) Jedi or Sith?**

**2.) Where'd your username come from?**

**3.) When are you and Pools continuing the How To guide?**

**For Vader:**

**1.) Were you lying about the Dark Side having cookies?**

**2.) What's it like to be a ghost?**

**Follow-up: Seen Mufasa lately in the afterlife?**

**3.) Anakin, am I your father?**

**For Deadpool:**

**1.) You vs. Bobba Fett, how would you beat him?**

**2.) Do you and Darth know the Muffin Man?**

**3.) What's your favorite emoti-thing?**

**Well that's all I have for now, later."**

**1\. Sith**

**2\. I feel like I've answered that, but I'll explain again. I picked rose because that's my favorite flower, star because space is freaking cool (And I love Starfire from the good Teen Titan show), I came up with it when I was 13 (hence the 13), and my birthday is January 24. That's the story behind my name, Rosestar1324.**

**3\. I'm working on it right after I finish this episode. I promise I'll do all the suggested How To's before I even think about giving it up**

**Darth Vader: 1. I said no such thing! Are you mocking me? I see one fool and it is you! I will show you the power and reason to fear the Galactic Empire! This is no game!**

**Rose:...**

**Deadpool:... Dang.**

**Darth Vader: 2. What are you talking about?**

**Deadpool: *mumbles* oh yeah, he doesn't know he's going to die...**

**Darth Vader: 3. …. Uh, I don't know my father.**

**Deadpool: 1. Ha! Easy! Throw him into a Sarlacc!**

**2\. I do. But unfortunately, they don't have a Muffin Man in those galaxies far far away.**

**3\. This BP sunglasses and the tongue sticking out**

**Rose: Well, thanks for all the questions and a special thank you for waiting a year!**

**Deadpool: Yeah, wtf, Rose? I thought you said you wouldn't have these long gaps in between episodes!**

**Rose: I'm sorry! I've been busy doing other stuff!**

**Deadpool: What's more important than me?**

**Rose:You do know that I actually have friends now, right? Plus I have other responsibilities. **

**Darth Vader: I have kept my part of the bargain. Now, you keep yours.**

**Rose: Right! Once again, thanks for tuning in! The next guest star is going to be Storm.**


End file.
